CAPITOL LETTERS

I'm going to take this opportunity -- an eerily quiet day in the House -- to write about one of the strangest quirks about this chamber: the noise.
It goes well beyond the random, unpredictable shouts of "VOTE, VOTE," or "WORK, WORK." Those two are addictive: When I feel my blood pressure rise because debate on a bill is taking an ungodly amount of time, it's almost all I can do not to join in the chorus. (Sometimes I do anyway.)
The other sound effects include:
1) The dog. Barking. And howling. Almost every time there's any dog-related bill on the calendar. It was funny the first time. Someone ought to put that pooch out of its misery.
2) The dive-bomber. My personal fave. It's that high-pitched whistle that sounds like a missile whizzing through the air, or one of those squealing firecrackers right before it explodes. Personal disclosure: This is the sound my dad used to make from across the house when he could hear my mother chewing me out. It meant: "You're toast."
3) The "Come on ride the train -- it's a choo-choo -- ride it!" Every time there's a railroad related bill, there's this nice chorus of "chugga chugga choo choo!"
4) The Snake Pit. Rep. Hilderbran's exotic snakes bill yesterday prompted loud rounds of "SSSSSssssss"es.
But what's most mysterious is this: no matter how loud the sound effect, I can never seem to poinpoint who's making it.
I guess it's one of those great mysteries of the House.